There’s a lot of uncertainty in life but here’s some things I know to be true as a 31 year old mother.
1. Kids will either eat twice their weight in food or nothing at all.
2.) It was never them.
3.) I am mean.
4.) and unfair.
5.) No matter how many clothes are in their drawers, they have nothing to wear.
6.) The favorite outfit is usually the least presentable.
7.) No matter what you made for dinner, they don’t like it (even if they ate it last week).
8.) Ice packs are worth buying in bulk.
9.) It’s never too cold for shorts, in the mind of a boy.
10.) No one ever needs a jacket.
11.) Anything forgotten is usually Mom’s fault.
12.) I will need to use the plunger at least once a day, because one can never use too much toilet paper to wipe their ass.
13.) Snacks are always more appealing than a meal.
14.) There will be pee on the floor or seat when I go to use the toilet.
15.) There is never anything worth eating in the pantry or fridge unless I just arrived home from grocery shopping.
16.) Laundry is inevitable.
17.) My list will only ever be half completed.
18.) No one is ever tired (except me!).
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